Hello Anon, thank you for your question and I'm sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter where you believe your loved one is, it still hurts to be separated and it's important that you acknowledge and accept the grieving process so that you are able to find joy in life and I wish you well with the hugely steep learning curve you have before you.
Now to your question. I'm sure you know about sleep paralysis and so I won't patronise you with that explanation because you felt as though something else was going on and your intuition is your most reliable tool. Reading between the lines and my experience tell me that you were more likely to be receiving healing than having an encounter with your wife, however don't see that as a setback or a negative response from me because that's not the case. Often we receive healing and 'adjustment' to our energy frequency before we are able to sense the spirit world or someone who is passed and is trying to reach us.
However more information from you will help to assess your experience more thoroughly. Did you feel any emotion during the encounter? Was there something that gave you a recognition of her? that could be a memory, a feeling, just words that she used, music or how you felt when she was close. I know it's hard to analyse these fleeting meetings but you will be surprised at how much information you have stored during those few moments and that is always key to determine between an imagined experience and a genuine one. Write down how you felt, what you remember, your deepest emotion, if the visitor felt male or female, if there was one or more, where their vibration is located i.e. in earth energy, spirit world or higher like the angelic realm. You will know the answers if you relax and allow the information to pop into your head. Take your first answer as being right, don't argue or fiddle with your responses and confuse your knowledge. Do this at a time when you are relaxed and don't care too much about the answer, you must be impartial not to influence the result and be distant emotionally.
Once you have your answers you will have used your intuition and natural ability to read energy to gain the solution to your query just as an experienced energy worker does.
If you find that you know, deep down and without doubt that this was a visit from your wife then keep that knowledge with you and expect her to visit again, if however you feel that she may have been nearby and observing the healing you were receiving then expect her to approach you as soon as the grief is clearer in your aura as this foggy cloud keeps her at bay (this is not deliberate of course but because she can't penetrate the murk just like other beings, spirit or higher friends). If you feel your wife was nowhere near you at this encounter then expect her to come to you soon but in the meantime welcome the healing you are receiving in preparation. Remember though to always ask for the Divine light of infinitesimal brightness to come to you and protect you and heal you, don't accept anything less than the highest energy and knowledge or you may be misled or confused. Go for the purest form of healing and information for ultimate truth. Either way your wife is on her way to you and I suspect that you would like to know that she passed over safely, yes she did and it was your gift to her, allowing her to leave, that made it much easier for her to go. You loved her enough to understand and have received blessings in return although some days it doesn't seem like that for you. It's early days yet and improvement is on its way to you, meditate for peace and love to surround you rather than spirit connection and at some point in the near future she will be brought to you safely and you will be in no doubt of her presence.
Thank you for your question and for reading my blog, it's good to know that people are gaining some understanding and comfort from my writing and are gaining confidence in their beliefs and own powers.
Try the creation of love exercise on the blog and imagine your wife within the love you create, surrounding her and protecting her, you can stop there knowing that you have sent her your love and she has received it or you can step into the love light and join her for a while of reunion. Expect that to be an emotional meditation if you try it but I think you can handle it. Afterwards step out of the light and back into your body and remember to close down and ground yourself with psychic protection around the aura. All the information is on here and I wish you success, let me know how it goes. love and light Avril.